she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
