at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
