Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
