I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
