it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
