I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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