Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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