just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
