I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We have started to decorate penises.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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