another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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