At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
