did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
