don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't think brook has ever known best
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
