My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Mom said you looked used
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
