maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
