What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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