We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you inspire me to be a worse person
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
