it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
