Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
