the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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