like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
MIDGETS
????
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
