I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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