onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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