He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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