what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You're a waste of cheezeits
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
