I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize