no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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