i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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