when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
