im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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