This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
