from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
