I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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