your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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