I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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