so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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