So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
