Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I stole a fireplace last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
