Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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