I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
