I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
