friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
