His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
