Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
