Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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