kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
