are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
