I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And the cops told us we were all naked.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
