Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
