I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
