Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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