So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
