At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish you could order shots online.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
