I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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