just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
