Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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