escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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