she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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