If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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