If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
