well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
